


tether me my heart

by LadyOrpheus



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Inspired by Tether Essence, M/M, episode 97 spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-18
Updated: 2020-03-18
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:55:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23194324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyOrpheus/pseuds/LadyOrpheus
Summary: Essek’s eyes flash in recognition. “Caleb, no!”But it is too late. The platinum cord vanishes in a flash of grey light. The two wizards are bathed in it’s glow long after the binding has disappeared. The thrum of connection hums between them. Two souls vibrating at the same frequency. Together. Essek’s mouth is open in stunned silence and Caleb squeezes his hand. “If you go I go.”Inspired by the Tethered Essence spell from Explorer’s Guide to Wildemount because it’s SUPER extra.
Relationships: Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast
Comments: 19
Kudos: 418





	tether me my heart

The thrash of the waves roars in Caleb’s ears. Even with no storm the sea is so very loud. 

He wishes it were louder still, wishes it could drown out the maelstrom behind his eyes as ~~Nott~~ Veth continues to echo: Justice. Punishment. Beauregard is a steady refrain behind her: Truth. Consequences. So very loud.

Essek stands across the deck of the Balleater from them. Gone is the facade of the Shadowhand. No mantle. No cloak. The collar of his elegant silver shirt is buttoned to the throat and still his head hangs low. He clasps his own hands in front. If Caleb did not know just how foolish Essek thought the action to be, he might have mistaken the motion for praying.

Say something. Caleb begs with a stare. Defend yourself.

But Essek makes no response to the deluge. And none of the others can get a word in edgewise though Cadeuces’ mouth has thinned to a grim line and Fjord’s hands curl like they wish he could occupy them with a sword. Yasha is silent as ever and Jester’s tentative entreatments are slowly being drowned under the weight of the other womens’ words. Veth fingers her crossbow

“Enough.” Caleb says.

The ongoing argument pays him no mind. It is barrelling ahead with no notion of the damage in its wake.

“Enough.” He declares louder. The quieter members of the party turn to him, but still the war of words rages on, more massacre than contest.

Caleb reaches into his pouch for the thin brittle stone at the bottom. Breaking off a small chip of the mica he slams his hands together as a wave of thunder rumbers across the deck of the ship and he shouts, “Enough!”

At last silence. All eyes turn to him, save the ones Caleb most wants to see.

“Caleb-” Beau starts again, but Caleb raises a hand to stop her.

“I said enough. It’s clear where you all stand on this.” He slips his component pouch out once more and makes to cross the deck. It groans from the force of his spell, but remains structurally sound. The slow walk feels like crossing an ocean wider than the Lucidian. Essek is his own solitary vessel adrift among the reefs. Without his tricks, without his cloak, without the confidence that so buoyed him, the slight features of his fey ancestry are strikingly apparent. He looks so very small.

Essek only glances up when Caleb stands immediately before him and even then his gaze flinches away until he finally closes his eyes and sighs deeply. Resigned acceptance.

Essek's hands do not flinch when Caleb places one of his own over the top of their grip. He does not react when Caleb pulls out a slender shimmering cord and wraps one end around Essek’s wrists. Does not even resist the pull of Caleb’s magic.

Before the spell is complete Caleb whispers Essek’s name. “Look at me.”

As soon as they make eye contact Caleb attaches the other end of the cord to his own wrist and finishes the incantation. 

Essek’s eyes flash in recognition. “Caleb, no!”

But it is too late. The platinum cord vanishes in a flash of grey light. The two wizards are bathed in its glow long after the binding has disappeared. The thrum of connection hums between them. Two souls vibrating at the same frequency. Together. Essek’s mouth is open in stunned silence and Caleb squeezes his hand. “If you go I go.”

There are shouts from the other side of the deck. Veth screeches. Beau swears. Cadeuces’ calm cadence is trying to keep them at bay.

“What have you done?” Essek whispers in horror.

“Yeah, Caleb, what the fuck man?” Beau is the first to march across the deck. “What did you do?” The rest of the party is hot on her heels. 

Caleb turns to face his _friends,_ Essek shielded behind his back. “You said you wanted to punish those who deserve it, _ja_? Well here’s your chance.” He spreads his arms wide, drops his bag of components to the deck. “Anything you do to him you do to me.”

Essek’s protestations over Caleb’s shoulder are ignored as the onslaught comes at him now. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” “Caleb you’re being ridiculous.” “We wouldn’t hurt _you!_ ”

Caleb snarls. “You know what I am. You know what I’ve done. Look me in the eye and tell me the truth. Were we not the friends we are today I would be on your _list_.” His final word is laced with all the venom he can muster.

Veth recoils and, though a corner of his heart aches with it, he cannot help but think: good.

“I will repeat: the spell I cast has bound us. If you punish him, you punish me too. If you are as lofty in your ideals as you say well...two birds one stone.”

Once again he is met with shocked silence. Even the song of the sea has ceded ground to the moment hanging in between them all. Still he stands open before them. Still no one moves. Caleb kneels, places his hands behind his head in surrender, and the silence is broken by a sharp intake of breath. “Do what you will,” he says as he bows his head. Behind him Essek’s hand is clinging to the fabric between his shoulder blades, he can feel those deft fingers tremble even through his coat. 

Jester is the first to break from the party’s lopsided phalanx. “So, if one of you is hurt the other gets hurt too?” It comes out like “Tyoo”. 

Caleb nods, “ _Ja._ ”

Jester steps closer, slowly, as one approaches a wounded animal and places a hand on Caleb's shoulder, “But if one of you…” she trails off and though he is not injured Caleb feels the familiar seeping warmth of Jester’s healing magic flood his body with a tingling sensation not dissimilar to a sugar rush. He hears Essek inhale suddenly and knows that he is feeling the same. 

“ _Ja._ ” Caleb nods again.

Jester smiles. “Well. Let’s stick with those kinds of feelings then, okay?” Before either Caleb or Essek can answer Jester whirls on the rest of the Mighty Nein, hands on her hips, chin jutting out. “Nobody is hurting _anybody,_ capiche?” And though Caleb can no longer see her face he knows she is staring down each and every one of them, a mother scolding her naughty children, or a basilisk sweeping over the whole crew with her petrifying glare. She must see enough in their cowed faces because she nods, satisfied, and says, “Good. That settles that,” before she brushes her hands, the sign of a job well done. 

Cadeuces makes to clear everyone away, but the loudest voices linger. 

“Caleb,” Beau tries again, “you know that-“ she falters when Caleb will not, cannot meet her eyes.

Veth tries this time, “It’s _you_ , Caleb. Of course we don’t-“

“Don’t you?” The words come out vicious once more, but this time Veth stands her ground. 

“If it...if he really means that much...well, I guess I wish you felt you could have told me.” Her voice is small and sad. Me too. Caleb does not say. But a part of him has long since wondered if his closest friend had died that day in a bathtub full of clay.

One by one the rest clear away. To stare out at the water, to tug on the rigging, to do anything else at all until Cadeuces and Jester are all that remain. Still frozen in place, Caleb barely notices when the firbolg gently lifts his elbow. “There you go, now,” comes his smooth steady voice. “It sounds like you two have a lot to talk about. I’ll keep everyone above deck if you need some privacy.”

So below deck they go, but not before Jester wraps her thick arms around both of them, “I’m not gonna let anyone hurt you, you know that, right?” before she gives them a shove down the stairs, a wink, and two thumbs up.

In the belly of the Balleater, Caleb cannot help but recall—as he often has—that night not so many moons ago. He’d thought his heart had grown accustomed to breaking, but the fracture of that betrayal had been as sharp and steely as his first. His hard fought calluses were all for naught. And here they are again, although this time it feels as though he is the one who has to answer for his action as Essek whirls on him.

“How could you do something so utterly foolish?” Essek is coiled inward like a spring, his arms folded to his chest, shoulders hitched high, voice tight. He must have started levitating again at some point to be at eye level with Caleb once more. “I did not teach you these things so you could throw your life away on a grand gesture and a hope.”

“My life is mine to do with as I wish, Essek.”

“No!” His arms snap downwards to his side. “I am responsible for many terrible things. I will _not_ make dragging you down with me one of them.”

“ _Schatz_ ” Essek shakes his head no at the endearment but he does not stop Caleb from approaching, does not stop the hands that rise to cup his face, does not stop the thumbs that wipe away his tears. “I am already down here with you.” Caleb reaches down to raise one of Essek’s hands, the one he’d wrapped in platinum, to his lips. If Caleb focuses hard enough he can still feel the bond resonating, tuning with its own echo. He presses one soft kiss to the inside of Essek’s wrist. Lighter than feyrie feet.

A soft sound escapes from Essek’s throat. “You foolish, reckless man,” he says as he returns the favor and then some. A kiss to Caleb’s wrist, his knuckles, his brow, his lips.

“I suppose,” Caleb says between kisses, “I will have to start taking better care of myself.”

Another kiss on Caleb’s wrist, right where the magic tether wrapped around. “You’d better.”


End file.
